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[03 Jun 2002|04:04pm] |
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What the hell? My last entry is totally messed up. And I can't delete it. whatever.
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[26 May 2002|08:43pm] |
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I feel all hollow like a hollowed-out coconut. Okay, that's not the best description, but you get the picture. When you want something you can't have, what do you do? Persevere until you get something (or completely ruin everything), or just give up? I just don't know what to do anymore. I seem to go from one mistake to another - like I never learn or something. As though I didn't deal with enough of a mess at the beginning of this year, I have to go and get myself into another one. Ah well, thats just the way it is, i guess.
It's too bad, it's too bad,
it's too late, its so wrong
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[18 May 2002|10:19pm] |
its been a long long time. i drove around for three hours tonight, wandering aimlessly. listening to strange music. thinking. i wonder what everyone else is doing this saturday night.
it seems that i always have to do what's wrong for me. doesnt it seem like i should know by now? clearly not. stupid, stupid camille.
just to reach you
[just to reach you]
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[01 May 2002|07:18pm] |
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I've been dropping out of the livejournal community lately, it seems. I just have nothing to say. Too much stress, too much work this week, as you all know. Scared of stalkers and people i DONT KNOW looking at my profile and taking my quiz.. eek. Also, i am completely screwed for the analysis test tomorrow. On that note, I'd better go study.
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[26 Apr 2002|04:49pm] |
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"to camel (v.): To strut off the rat-infested campus in a superiorly sexy manner. Like Lara Croft."
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[24 Apr 2002|07:11pm] |
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Fuck this. No, really. This is the biggest waste of time ever. I've just realized that i really have NO friends. At prom, you need at least 5 couples to a table. We have two. And no one else wants to sit with us. How lame is this? Incredibly lame. It doesn't make me feel any better that my so-called "friends" (which i guess are really just acquaintances) are all going in this huge group of 30 people (to which, of course, i wasn't invited). This makes my life just even more wonderful. Now we'll be stuck with six other losers I don't know. lovely. how about i go shoot myself now so i wont die of embarassment at prom? Or here's a better idea: how about i just DON'T GO.
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[22 Apr 2002|04:37pm] |
"He bent his head and pulled off his T-shirt. He turned his back to me and I saw what was hidden there, pressed damp and matted against his shoulder blades. The shabby soiled once-white feathers hung limply. Then he huddled back down in the sand, hiding his back against the lifeguard stand. Another angel. A real one. An angel for a love. An angel who wouldn't touch me. What was I supposed to do?"
-Echo, Francesca Lia Block
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[12 Apr 2002|07:43pm] |
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Today was hell on wheels. I didn't have the greatest day to start off with, and then as soon as i get home and try to fix some ongoing problems, i get a phone call from mr ames telling me that a student called "niamh arthur" had an accident and that they couldn't reach her family and that i was on the emergency contact list. of course i freaked out, drove down to gunn, and had to take niamh to the hospital to get a checkup and a cat scan and all this stuff.. it was so fucking scary. and i stayed there until like 6.30. ugh i'm so tired.
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[11 Apr 2002|03:25pm] |
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There are some days when I feel like a duck with clipped wings. laskflasdjf. Laura was gone, at YCS, cause it's thursday - and then for some reason saira was really pissed at me and started snapping at me when I was trying to talk to her, so i thought "fuck this" and just lay there in the quad. Saira and niamh ran off who knows where, and I sat here. All alone. For the rest of lunch. Cynthis came and visited me though, so that was nice. I'm tired of my friends being more popular than me. It pisses me off.
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[10 Apr 2002|10:17pm] |
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Last year, when we were talking about prom, he said "don't worry, I'll make sure you have a date next year." I immediately started thinking of ways to turn him down. Little did I know the situation would be resolved very easily without any help from me. I wonder who he's going to ask this year.
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[09 Apr 2002|11:08pm] |
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oh man. I read elaine's journal and started craving sour patch kids. so i hopped in the car down to safeway and got a bag of them. and now, of course, I am so sick. and trying to study for analysis. ughhhhhhh curse the sour patch children.
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| SATs and grades |
[09 Apr 2002|05:35pm] |
Wow, there's been a hell of a lot of bitching about SATs and grades among the "livejournal community" lately. There are several sides to this: One, you feel good about how you did and you want people to know because you are proud and you want them to congratulate you on the hard work you put in and the rewards that came of it. Or maybe, you did really badly and hearing people say "oh yea i did really well" only makes you feel even MORE like shit. But really, there is no way to know how people are going to respond to what you write. If other people's scores piss you off (I'll admit it freely, I'm insanely jealous of cynthia's 1600) then just be pissed off in your head, but don't ruin the joy that other people feel about their scores by bitching to them about how they shouldn't brag. This is, of course, not directed at anyone - I was just ranting, as usual. Please don't attack me online again.
On to a completely different subject, that may or may not make people even more upset - PROM is just around the corner. I have a sob story... probably just like everyone else. but hey i'm having a bad enough day already, what with studying for the analysis test, so i won't go into that now.
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[09 Apr 2002|05:32pm] |
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I just got in a fight with someone i DON'T KNOW. If anyone can manage that, it's me. Basically I totally bitched this guy out for NO REASON because I completely misunderstood what he was saying. Now he probably hates me. Great. Or wait - even better, he think's i'm psycho.
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[08 Apr 2002|05:40pm] |
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Natasha's thug CD rocks my world!!!!
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| This song makes me so happy |
[08 Apr 2002|05:33pm] |
North Carolina raise up take your shirt off twist it round your head
spin it like a helicopter
South carolina raise up this one's for YOU
this ones for who? US US US
HAhaha. I have to learn the words to this song. Saira got me hooked on it. I talked about kidneys with Rabia today during the disaster drill, it was so funny. Music makes me so happy - especially GOOD music. Hmm, I also had a long conversation with Xmas Carol. LONG meaning like 10 minutes. He usually gives me a weird look like I'm a rabid weasel that might bite his head off if he doesn't answer the right way. Poor xmas carol, I think he thinks we like him. No wonder he's afraid of us.
Anyways, I have a shitload of analysis homework to catch up on.. gotta work on that C+ (OUCH). So i got my SAT scores - 1530. Hmm. I thought that was good until I learned cynthia and tracy got 1600 and garrett got 1540. So I feel average now. But that's okay.
You could take one of my kidneys and i'd still be happy. In fact, I think one of them just fell out the other day...
I think I'm still on a high from yesterday.. a NATURAL high, guys. SO much fun.
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[07 Apr 2002|08:14pm] |
life is good and then you die
dont ask questions baby don't ask why
:)
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[07 Apr 2002|08:14pm] |
life is good and then you die
dont ask questions baby don't ask why
:)
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[06 Apr 2002|10:57am] |
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" *** was talking about ways to get alcohol into the AIDS Dance. I suppose because they planned on getting wasted, having sex, and waking up pregnant with AIDS. It's good to see they are following the theme of the dance."
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camillete's journal